Career Crisis at 27!

Up until a few months ago I had it all mapped out, id have my own semi permanent makeup business up & running by the time my maternity leave came to an end. Work for myself, my own hours, holidays it would be bliss!

If you’d read one of my recent blogs you’ll know by now that I let that dream go. I don’t think I’ve told anyone how much that decision hurt me. I truly believed that I could make it work and make a success of it. Admitting to myself that it was never going to happen was one of the hardest pills to swallow. Even more so when people ask me about it and I have to tell them that it’s not happening now. I am overwhelmed with embarrassment and shame every time, and the sadness draws back in.

I’ve never been one of those people who always knew what they wanted to do from a young age. I did my beauty qualifications at 18, but had no real passion for it. I worked my way through job to job never finding that fire which you hear people talking about who love their jobs. Now as I’m on the wrong side of 25, and ever since I closed the door on my own business, the thought of a new career is in my head more and more.

I work in complaints at the moment, I wish I could tell you it’s thrilling but it’s absolutely not. It’s not a hard job, I could do the best part of it with my eyes closed. I’m lucky I don’t have people screaming down the phone at me all day like people would think. Everything is dealt via email or letter. It’s very rare I speak to anyone on the phone. I officially go back to work on Christmas Eve, yep Christmas EVE!

I feel now more than ever that I really want to be in a job which I love, which I’m proud to tell people about when they ask. My mum has always said “if you love your job you’ll never work a day in your life” I believe that is so true. I doubt myself a lot when I know deep down I’m more than capable to do whatever I put my mind to. Ever since I’ve had Charlie, I’ve had a niggle in my tummy about midwifery. I watched the Emma Willis delivering babies series whilst I was pregnant and now it’s back on again. I’ve always loved those programs & one born every minute. Matt says every time it comes on, “you should have done this babe it would suit you so well!”.

I often find myself thinking yes I should have. I constantly question myself, am I too old? Is it past me? How would I cope studying with Charlie? What money would I have? Could I cope with the not so nice side of the job? Lots of questions buzzing around my mind. It’s something I’ve looked into a lot, and spoken to Matt about on a number of occasions. But, it’s not something I’d jump into. I know that I want to be absolutely certain, specially if I end up studying for a degree. I definitely don’t want to start then regret it!

So, for now I’ll stay as I am. But I will still be digging around and finding as much information as possible. I also haven’t yet spoken to my mum about it, she’s my absolute go to for anything and everything I need advice on, she’s my best friend and will always be 100% truthful with me and vise versa. I don’t think she realised how much I value her opinion & input. Im no rush to make an decisions on anything at the moment, but either way I think a career change is needed In the future. I’d have to do a pathway to healthcare course first which is part time in the evenings, which I could do before my degree but there’s so much to think about. But I cannot see me staying in an office for the next 10 years it’s just not for me!

We will see! Everything happens for a reason, what will be will be. The more I research the more I really want to do it but I’ll be honest I’m a bit scared of the thought of studying again, But I am not going to just cruise through life just settling anymore! Watch this space!

H x

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