Happy New Year!

Wow how fast did that year go? Can’t believe we are in 2020 a whole new decade! A lot is going to change for me (us) this year. Firstly I’m officially back in work on Monday! After being off since September 2018 ahhhh I’m so not ready!

We are lucky enough that mine and matts mum will help with childcare, and that for the time being I’m only going back for 2.5 days a week. Talking about work, matts got a new job! Wooohoo! He starts on the 20th of January and I’m so happy he has wanted a change for so long!

So we’re looking at a good start to the year. We have a few things in the diary already, it’s Matts birthday today (33) I’m taking him out for dinner on Saturday and we are going to have a few drinks which will be lovely!

Me & mum are off on a girly spa weekend in Monmouth the middle of this month which I’m super excited for, we were going to go abroad but couldn’t decide on anything so, we booked a load of spa treatments for the whole weekend finished off with afternoon tea on the Sunday before we leave.

One of my best mates is getting married in May which is crazy! I’m a bridesmaid, so ive got then hen to look forward to in April we’re off to Marbella! Matts off on the stag to Liverpool in March so that will be good for us both to let off some steam!

We will book a holiday end of May/June time although we can’t agree on where to go, and we can’t book anything until matt starts his new job and gets his shift patterns through. I think we should book Dubai because we don’t have to pay for Charlie’s flight as he’s under 2, and it will be less expensive but Matt thinks we should go somewhere like Greece! So we are totally undecided.

I normally like to try and book a weekend away aswell if we can afford it and have the time too. We went to the log cabin in November which was lush, so whether we book that again or somewhere similar I don’t know I just like to have things to look forward to!

I’ve been thinking about this year and what I want to achieve. I’ve got a new diary sorted with lots of new little bits added. Some of my goals for 2020 are:

1. Get fit! Not fat – back in the gym from Friday and I can’t wait.

2. Take control of my finances – I want to really knuckle down on my spending and see how much more I can save from last year.

3. I want to start running again, I’d like to do at least one race this year even if it’s a 5k. But I’m going to see how much I can push myself.

4. Make memories! Do more together as a family and plan more days out.

They are just a few of mine I’m always thinking of new ones!

Me & Matt have also spoken about looking for a new house at the end of the year, as much as we love our little house we are ready to move on there are things which we want such as a garden which just isn’t accessible for Charlie where we are. So we said we’d sit down with our mortgage advisor towards the end of the year and see what our next steps would be.

I hope you all have a great year and achieve lots! To love, happiness & health for 2020!

H x

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My poorly baby

We nearly made it a year without Charlie having any sort of sickness. That was until we were on our mini break!

Charlie had been fine throughout the day, we took him to a local play centre which he absolutely loved. We made sure we wiped down his hands often as you do, and everything was great.

We headed back to our log cabin, Charlie played for a while whist Matt got his food ready. We decided to try him with an Ellas kitchen sachet of chicken curry, which he absolutely wolfed down! We’d also bought a cooked chicken from Tesco so we added in some bits for him to eat by himself.

After dinner Charlie had a quick bath and into his pjs to settle down. He has hit bottle of milk and a cuddle before we put him to bed. He’s an excellent sleeper so when Matt put him down we never thought our night would take a turn.

Around 9pm I decided to pop my head in to check on him when I smelt the most awful smell I knew straight away something was wrong. When I peered over the top of the travel cot I could see a mass of sick – everywhere! I called to Matt quick as I picked Charlie up half asleep and started to strip him off. It was everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE. I’d never seen anything like it. His sleeping bag was covered, it was all in his hair, down his pjs, all across the mattress of his cot, all down the sides.

We’d had the monitor on it’s loudest setting and we hadn’t heard him stir so I don’t know whether this all happened whilst he was asleep which worried me even more! He didn’t cry or even murmur he was just really quiet, I held him and rubbed his back when I could feel him start to wretch. Oh no matt! As I rushed to the bathroom Charlie had been vomiting all over me.

I put him In the bath and pulled him pj bottoms off and nappy. I pulled my T-shirt off and chucked everything at the top of the bath. Matt was sorting out his cot whilst I washed him down and got all of the sick out of his hair. He was so good amongst all of the chaos he just sat quietly and played with his toy.

We dried him off and put him in clean pjs. We sat on the sofa watching I’m a celebrity. He seemed to be much better. Within 20 minutes he started heaving again and before I could even get up with him he’d been sick all down his fresh pjs! It was like someone was pumping it out of him!

We stripped him to his nappy and decided to leave him for a while and it was lucky we did because within minutes he was throwing up again. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but throughout it all he didn’t cry or fuss, he was just quiet.

We’d left it around half an hour without any signs of more sickness, so we decided to put another pair of clean pjs on and put him to bed. I put him down came back into the living room and within 5 minutes heard him gagging on the camera, ran it picked him up and held him over the toilet as he was bringing up what was left in his stomach.

Luckily his pjs were still clean, after another long cuddle on the sofa I put him back down and thank god he went to sleep. Not that I slept all night I was constantly checking in on him to make sure he was ok. We don’t know what caused it but thank god hes so much better today! Nothing worse than seeing your baby poorly! X

Charlie @ 11 months

Wowza!? How quickly have these last 11 months gone. I know I keep saying it but I can’t get my head around the fact Charlie will be 1 in just a few short weeks.

He has come on leaps and bounds, it seems like he’s growing up so quickly. He is the most beautiful, funny, happy little boy. He is actually a little boy now, but he will always be my baby.

He makes us laugh every single day, he is so curious, fearless he’s into everything. Loves his toys, loves playing games, loves his food, loves his bed! We are extremely lucky. He’s no trouble for us, he’s a fantastic eater he will eat anything I put in front of him.

He sleeps like a dream, from the moment we put him down we don’t hear him until he gets up in the morning. He loves his bath before bed too. The only thing he doesn’t like is having his nappy changed or getting dressed but apart from that nothing!

He does grind his teeth a lot which goes through me! He still has 8 teeth, 4 at bottom & top. I thought I could see the white of his molars the other day but I wasn’t 100%. He’s crawling everywhere and he’s really fast, he stands up and sits down all day long. He does sometimes shuffle around the sofa, and I’ve seen him let go a few times and fall on his bum. He’s definitely getting more confident.

He loves to walk holding your hands but still hasn’t got his balance properly yet. We are going on a mini break at the end of the month to a lodge in Narberth for 3 days so that will be a nice mini holiday. We’re also getting this prepped for Charlie’s birthday party!

Exciting times! I’m not ready for him to turn 1, I don’t think I ever will be!

Hx

Charlie @ 10 months

I can’t believe I forgot to do a 10 month update! *bad mum alert!* Charlie is currently 10 months 3 weeks old! Wow where is the time going?

He’s as lush as ever! I cannot enough of him, he’s so funny me & the family are always giggling over things he comes out with. He’s making lots of weird and wonderful sounds, his new favourite is blowing his lips together which is pretty difficult for me to do! Nanny has been teaching him so he’s picked it up from her!

Charlie has 8 teeth now, 4 at bottom & 4 up top. He’s done really well when it’s come to the last couple of teeth coming through. We only actually knew he had the teeth when he opened his mouth and we noticed, we didn’t hear a grizzle from him. He is super super fast crawling now, and he is EVERYWHERE! I mean everywhere. We definitely need eyes dotted around our heads.

He constantly makes a break for it to get to the stairs! He half attempts to start to climb but gets too scared and comes back down. He is up and down standing constantly, it’s like he can’t sit still unless he’s winding down for bed or he’s captivated by his baby tv! We had a walker for him from matts mum as an early birthday present, so I’ve been helping him practise to walk with it a couple of times a day and he’s getting it slowly.

He eats really really well, anything I put in front of him he demolishes. He’s on two 7 ounce bottles a day, one first thing and a bedtime bottle. He absolutely loves his fruit, I think he would eat it all day if he could. I’m still trying to cook as much as possible rather than relying on the cow & gate jars. I try to now only use them if we are out and about or if he’s really over tired and he needs to get to bed. Other than that I try make him something, if I can I’ll make him whatever we are having for tea before hand.

He’s such a lovely happy baby, he’s really sociable. He just loves people and loves showing off he’s always making everyone laugh. He’s super chatty every single day he just babbles to himself all day. I can’t quite believe he will be 1 in 6 weeks time it’s really flown by. We’ve been lucky in the sense he’s been really healthy apart from a few weeks ago when he had tonsillitis & a chest infection which lasted around a week, then to top it off me & Matt caught the flu!

He’s still an excellent sleeper, we honestly don’t know how lucky we are. He goes down anytime from 6:30pm-7:15pm and sleeps through till around 7am. We don’t hear him all night, I never usually tell other mothers because I feel awful if their little ones are bad sleepers.

Loving every minute of watching him learn and grow – it’s the best!

What Motherhood Has Taught Me

Going from child free to expecting can cause a whirlwind of excitement, apprehension, and wishing Google had an answer to questions like “how to keep my baby alive”. But as a new mum you have to learn as you go – or more commonly known as “just wing it”. I put together some of my personal things which motherhood has taught me.

1. Don’t forget your hobbies, I love reading books!

I don’t mean baby books, I mean proper books the ones you can’t put down. The ones you go to bed early for just to sit for an hour and be totally engrossed. I love reading, and I miss it. My mum is also a keen reader and Is always sharing her favourite books with me and now I hardly get time to sit alone for 5 minutes let alone read a book, and when I do I’m normally too tired. – note “must make more time to read”. So in short, do what you love and make time for it when you have a baby.

2. Your physical & mental health is everything

When I got pregnant with Charlie I was over weight and unhappy, totally unfit. So in a nutshell the worst possible condition to have a baby (in my opinion). You have enough massive changes that will happen to your body over 9 months, without already not being in good health. I wish I’d lost weight and been fitter, not super fit but just fitter & stronger. I know for sure I would have had an easier pregnancy. It’s something I will 100% be taking forward before any future pregnancies. I feel like I missed out because I did suffer so much physically & mentally, Not forgetting post birth, your body takes a battering whatever way you give birth. So take the time to look after yourself and let your body heal.

3. Look after yourself & your relationship

I wish I had known that the first six months after having a baby would be hardest on my relationship, whether people want to admit it or not, it’s rough. If I had known the impact it would have, then I would have made an extra effort. It’s not all doom & gloom, having a baby has made us stronger and brought us closer together. It’s formed a new found love between us, but it also highlighted our weaknesses. Sleep deprivation, the stress of learning how to care for a newborn, and the changes to your body will have an impact on you, I personally found it all difficult to deal with. I wish I had known it was okay to communicate the things I was experiencing, instead of him wondering if it was his fault or if the baby was coming between us! So my advice would be to talk to each other keep that communication line strong if nothing else.

4. Give yourself a break

As a new mum you want to get everything right, and truth is you’ll never get everything right. You’ll make mistakes along the way, but that’s how you learn. Every time I didn’t know why Charlie was crying I’d be questioning myself and doubting my abilities of being a mother. I was really hard on myself specially in the early days id even say for the first few months no one gave me a harder time than myself if I felt like “I wasn’t quite getting it”. Now, I can read him like a book as can matt – we could sit and predict Charlie’s next move or emotion before it happens. That just comes with time & experience. You’ll be OK! Hang in there MUMMA your doing great.

5. You will realise your stronger than you think

You will see your inner strength which you never knew you had until now. At 3am in the morning when your newborn has been crying consistently for the last 4 hours and your about to loose your mind, that something which pulls you through ready to fight another day, that’s the strong stuff. You’ll cope, and most of the time you’ll wonder how! Then you’ll look back and realise that it was that inner strength which never showed itself until you really needed it. It will be a comfort to you, because you’ll know no matter what life throws at you along the way you will get through it.

6. You will feel judged by others, and you will judge too.

Charlie’s having a bloody melt down again, he’s screaming at the top of his lungs like I’ve just hurt him. Your eyes are darting around the room as you try and figure out how the bloody hell your going to calm him down. That voice in your head pops in “Oh everyone’s staring at you, I bet they think your a bad mum, god you can’t even control your child, what’s wrong with you?” You’ll be convinced every single person in that room was staring at you thinking the most awful things. Like wise, if you see parents doing something or saying something you don’t agree with, you’ll raise eyebrows & give the odd side eye. It will happen, you’ll feel vulnerable and out of your depth. But, it’s not the end of the world, you’ll see.

7. You will experience the most powerful form of love.

You or I could never put it into words the love which explodes from inside out once you have a child. You will get it, when you hold your baby for the first time you will understand what I’m talking about. You’ll never be able to describe it to anyone who doesn’t have children, you know they just have to experience it themselves. It is the most beautifully terrifying love I have ever felt. It is completely endless.

8. Mothers instinct – there is such a thing!

Yes it’s true, it exists. Like I said earlier you will learn about your baby, as they grow into an infant. You will understand them a bit more with every day that comes. And sometimes only you can make things better, there have been times where my mum has had Charlie and she hasn’t been able to settle him and she will give him back to me because she knew in that moment no one else could help but me. Just by the sound of their cry you just know what to do, where as in the beginning you go round in circles, feeding, changing, burping, comforting. Likewise when something’s wrong you will just know, I don’t know how to put it more simple than that. You’ll just know.

9. You’ll look at your partner in a way you never did before.

You love each other of course you do that’s one of the reasons you chose to have a family together. But, once you have a baby and you watch you partner & your baby together it’s a whole new type of love, an intensified love. I’ve just sat and watched Matt with Charlie many of times, and I could all day. My heart bursts with pride, love & respect. I am lucky that Matt is the most amazing dad, which I knew he would be. There is a real magical moment watching someone else portray the love you feel for your baby. Charlie will have the most unbreakable bond with Matt as he grows up.

10. You’ll love & respect your own mum more than you thought was possible.

I’m very fortunate that my mum is my best friend, my advisor, my comforter, my role model & the most incredible Nanny to Charlie. Since having Charlie, she has guided and supported me every step of the way and shaped me to be the mother I am today. If I can give Charlie what she has given me then I know I would have done something 100% right. I truly understand how much she loves me & my brother, I completely understand all hopes & fears she has for us. She once told me, “I never thought it was possible to love again like I loved you & Sean. That was until, you had Charlie and it’s all come flooding back”. She is my angel, don’t know what I’d do without her!

Hx

I let my dream business go

Today was a sad day, today I decided that I am letting my semi permanent makeup business go.

This decision didn’t come lightly, I have mulled it over for months in my head. These types of business need 100% commitment which I thought I would be able to give, but truth is I simply can’t.

The endless amount of money being wasted every month was keeping me awake at night. I battled with the thoughts of the fact I’ve already invested a lot of money in to not be getting anything back. I worked hard on my training, but with the semi permanent industry growing at rapid speed so do the competition.

There are some amazing artists out there, people who can fully commit to their businesses 100% of the time, and it shows. So, today has been a tearful day. I thought I would be able to do it part time, but I can’t. Now Charlie is here there’s so much more to think about. I realised I was travelling to do an hours consultations, to possibly not even get a booking. What a waste of my time, and a waste of a day.

A day I could have spent with my baby. Not to mention finding childcare for that time. It just doesn’t work for me. So, I called up my mum like I always do, and will always do no matter how old I am, and I sobbed down the phone as I told her my plans to close this chapter of my life. My mum understands completely and could hear how upset I was. She said she would support me 100% and understood why I was making this decision.

She offered to have Charlie for me so I could go and get my nails done and have some time to myself. Something which is very much needed. I text Matt a long message of how I was feeling and as always, he tried lifting my spirits and again said he would support me no matter what. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful support network around me. Today, is one of those days where I’ve really felt extremely sad.

Once I started crying I couldn’t stop, even now writing this blog I can feel a lump in my throat. I really wanted it to work, but it hasn’t and that’s just how life goes sometimes. When I look at Charlie beaming at me, and I’m feeling like a complete failure I know at least I have got something right!

So as this door closes let’s hope another one opens, onwards & upwards with my beautiful family.

H x

Otoplasty Reveal✨

So my bandages came off last Friday, my mum met me over at Spire Out Patient. My appointment was 6:45pm, but we ended up waiting till around 7:15pm before we saw Dr Karoo. I was so excited to be having my bandages off they were really iterating me.

We were called into the small room where we were greeted by Dr Karoo & a nurse. We spoke briefly about the operation and how the last week had been. Dr Karoo had to step outside to take a phone call but told the nurse to cut off my bandages.

I looked to my mum as the last off the bandages were pulled off and mouthed “do they look ok?” She smiled and nodded at me. The nurse went off to grab a mirror to show me the end result. I felt like I was holding my breath as I waited. “Feel them hel” mum said but I didn’t want to mess with them. I could instantly feel they were back, it felt different.

The nurse wheeled around a full length mirror and as I caught the sight of myself I put a hand to my mouth and burst into tears. I glanced over to my mum who had also started crying and I beamed at her. “Oh god are you ok” the nurse asked panicking. I could hardly speak but managed a nod. “Happy tears” my mum said. “Oh that’s ok then I was worried you didn’t like them!” She laughed.

I couldn’t believe the difference, it was exactly as I wanted and what we had previously discussed. Dr Karoo came back in soon after, and the nurse said “oh you missed the most wonderful reaction!”. He had a good look at them and told us how pleased he was with the result. He showed me where he had removed cartilage on the top of my left ear and showed me that he had re created a fold in my ear which I didn’t once have.

I wiped the tears from my face with a tissue the nurse had given me as I still looked at myself taking it all in. He didn’t realise what he had done for me, my confidence instantly boomed. I felt normal. He took a few photos as he did before, and had to go. He asked the nurse to do a small clean up and remove the stitches at the top of my ear. We discussed a follow up appointment for August and he reminded me to be careful and to wear a head band for the next 6 weeks to bed, and as much as I could around the house.

I lost count how many times I thanked him before he left. The nurse sat on the bed next to me and started wiping the back of my ears and cleaning them carefully. She then moved onto removing my stitches, this I didn’t feel like was her forte. She tugged and tugged as I clenched my jaw and squeezed my eyes shut. I caught a glance of my mum wincing in the corner. (She is no good with anything to do with pain or blood) I was just praying she wasn’t going to pass out! I sat texting Matt as she tried to pull them out and she had a go at me and told me to sit still. Oops😂🙈

After she had finished we were free to leave, it felt amazing to have my bandages off. My ears felt really tender and sore but I couldn’t wait to get home to show Matt. I cried the whole way home I was over come with emotion. When I got home matt shouted as I came through the door “let’s see let’s see” I popped my head around the corner with my hood up, and explained they were really swollen. I pulled down my hood and he smiled, “wow they look great,are you happy?” He asked.

I crumbled into his arms as he wrapped them around me, I couldn’t get my words out but he knew I was happy. I think I will see the full results in the next 6 weeks or so. I have a follow up appointment at the end of August with Dr Karoo to see how they are healing. Hi am so so happy with how they turned out, it was the best money I’ve ever spent. And I would do it all over again!

Before surgery
After surgery

The Working Mum

It seems like the day will be coming around all too quickly, but I will In the near future be a “working mum”. I’ll be honest the thought of going back to work makes my stomach do somersaults. I am definitely not in the slightest ready to be away from Charlie.

As hard as it is, I absolutely love being at home with Charlie. I love our sofa days and I love our adventure days. So, the thought of not being able to do that as often does make me sad!

I’m hoping I can go back to doing around 2 days a week in work. But, I’m not sure whether I will be allowed. Problem is the more days I do the less point it is that I go back to work, purely because the child care costs are crazy! We are very lucky that both my mum & matts mum are happy to help out. But with that being said I will not expect either of them to take Charlie on full time.

The ideal situation would me being able to work from home. That, in my current role is not an option which is a shame. So my only other option would be to look for another job, with the option or something more flexible.

Also, the current drive from home to work is around 18 miles each way. Which is a drain on the petrol! So something closer to home would definitely help. I’m not sure what I want to do at the moment but I know I need to get the work/life balance right not just for us as a family but for our lovely mums who are happy to help!

I know that some mums aren’t that lucky to have family to help with childcare, so either have to pay for it or they do less hours. It’s such a sticky situation. I’m currently not due back to work until the end of December, so I have got a while to make some decisions. Matt has always said he will support whatever decision I make.

I have been lucky that my current work have been extremely helpful when it comes to hours & days providing it gets excepted, so fingers crossed it all works out and I can stay where I am.

So for now, I’m going to enjoy my time with my boy. For I don’t know how long I’ll be able to get this precious one on one. I think I’ve finally decided to stop worrying about it so much, at least for a few more months!

Baby number 2!

Wooh hold your horses now let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I am NOT pregnant! But I thought I would write about the potential of baby number 2.

The thought of having another Charlie makes my heart swell. Looking at him now I’m like yes yes yes I want another one now! Me & Matt have already had countless conversations about having another baby. We have always agreed we wanted two children. Matt would have a football team if he could!

I get excited at the thought of having a another baby. 1. Because I know what to expect. 2. We won’t feel like complete idiots not knowing what to do! 3. Having a baby is just the best best thing we ever did. Matt will often say it scares him thinking about having another baby, that’s because the first 12 weeks with Charlie were absolutely horrendous.

It doesn’t scare me though, because I know if we had another tough baby we would be prepared. Yes it would be rough, but we’ve been through it and come out the other end. We are so into the swings of parenting life now that I think we would have a much easier time than first time around. If we had a happy baby from the get go we just wouldn’t know ourselves!

We are by no means in a rush to get pregnant again. I’m really enjoying not being pregnant, and I’m loving my time I have one on one with Charlie. We did say we would rather a smaller age gap than a larger one between Charlie & baby number 2. But there is absolutely no pressure to get things going again. We want to enjoy this year and we have a few things popping up for next year.

I also decided that I would be looking after myself first and foremost. This means I want to be physically & mentally fit for another pregnancy which I’m currently not. I have at least 2 stone to loose before I will be at a comfortable weight. If you read my pregnancy story you’ll understand why I’m so determined on my second pregnancy being a totally different experience.

So in a nut shell, yes there will be baby number 2 but we haven’t decided when! I honestly think I will have another boy too! Just putting it out there! For now, I’m happy curling up with my little monkey 💙

Otoplasty Review – Cardiff Spire Hospital. Dr Richard Karoo.

Weyhey! I’ve done it I have new ears! Woohoo! I’ve waited for this since I was a teenager. If I haven’t said already, I’ve always hated my ears. I got bullied quite badly in high school because of them. I would constantly avoid wearing my hair up, it was always down covering them as much as possible. This blog is pretty long FYI! 🍪🍿☕️

After having Charlie I knew being on maternity leave and having the surgery, would be perfect because I wouldn’t have to book any time off work. I had an amazing consultation with Dr Karoo in the Cardiff clinic so when I was given this date I was over the moon to be getting in so quickly. ( I’ve done a blog about my consultation)

I had a pre-assessment done over the phone Thursday and had to pop in for a few swabs. My admission time was 11am Friday, luckily Matt managed to get the day off work. We did some running round then popped over to my mums as we had some time to kill. It was lucky we did because Charlie had a massive poo explosion so he had to go in the sink for a mini bath! 😂🙈

We got to the hospital and I checked in at reception. I made sure my details were correct and took a seat in the waiting area with Matt & Charlie. It wasn’t long before we were being shown to my room. It was lovely like a little hotel room, massive tv on the wall and I made sure to check I would be able to get my fix of love island! Charlie dropped off to sleep In his pram, so me & Matt had some time to ourselves.

I met my day nurse Sarah who went through some forms and asked me to do a urine sample to do a pregnancy test. I was praying it would be negative and thankfully it was! She did the usual blood pressure & temperature. We met my anaesthetist who was lovely and again we went through some general health questions. Charlie starting stirring not long after and as we couldn’t settle him Matt thought it best he made a move. So after lots of kisses and cuddles off they went. 👋🏻🙁

Dr Karoo popped in to see how I was doing, I literally cannot recommend this man enough. He is the sweetest man I’ve ever met! So so glad I chose him as my surgeon. I filled out the consent forms and after he left, decided to try get my head down. I was badly dehydrated, I hadn’t eaten or drunk since 9pm Thursday evening. It had brought on the worst migraine. Just as I was dropping off a lovely nurse came in and told me to it was time to go the theatre. 😯

She left me to change into my sexy disposable knickers, gown and stockings. Then walked me down to to theatre and put a protective arm around me. She felt really “Mumsy” which made me feel instantly relaxed. I sat on a chair just next to theatre as they monitored my blood pressure and temperature. Then I met Kyle another nurse he went through my forms again with me and asked me to confirm my signature on the consent forms. I layed down on the bed and the anaesthetist came to say hello and put the needle in my hand ready to administer the general anaesthetic.

With 3 people buzzing around me I didn’t know where to look, I spoke to Kyle about Charlie and he told me his girlfriend was 27 weeks pregnant with their first baby. We got chatting and I warned him about the sleep deprivation! I got given the first dose of the anaesthetic and was told I’d start to feel sleepy, the second dose came not long after. Kyle popped an oxygen mask over my face and that’s the last I remember.

The next thing I know I can hear someone calling my name, I’m in a different room and a lovely nurse is smiling at me. She asked me if I was ok and I mumbled that I’d had a dream. What was your dream about? she asked. My cats! I replied and she laughed. I still didn’t feel with it, she called me a few times to take a few deep breathes to bring me around but as much as I tried I couldn’t keep my eyes open. “Helen can you take a few more deep breathes” I heard faintly again.

This time I felt more awake, I looked around the room at the lady laying in a bed next to me. I tried to make out the time on the clock but without my contact lenses it was a blurry mess. The first thing I noticed was a raw pain in my throat from the tube. I couldn’t actually feel my ears, but quickly realised I had a hell of a bandage on. 🤕 I heard the nurse say that my blood pressure was too low for me to go back to my room so they’d keep me a while longer. It felt like ages! I asked for a glass of water and the nurse brought it over with a straw and I practically necked it in one go. Around 30 minutes passed and they called for someone to bring me back to my room.

The nurse Sarah came to meet me with a porter and they wheeled me back down to my room. She asked if I was able to stand to get back into bed which I was able to. I generally felt good – the worst pain I had was my throat. Sarah called my mum to let her know I was okay and when I felt upto it I got my phone and messaged Matt & my mum. It was funny because I’d been joking with Matt that was going to end up with a huge bandage and I did! I sent a picture to my mum and she couldn’t stop laughing she was shocked to see how big it was.

I FaceTimed Matt, the baby was in bed as he showed me on the monitor. We had a little chit chat I caught up on how Charlie had been and was pleased they had a good day. Dr Karoo and my anaesthetist came in my room before they left for the day. Dr Karoo said he was very pleased with the results and that he would see me the following Friday back here to take the bandages off.

My mum came in soon after and she had actually just passed them both on the stairs as she came in. It was lovely to see her, she brought me some snacks and we chatted and giggled. I wanted to change from my gown to my PJs but I was hooked up to the drip, so trying to manoeuvre it to change was a sight! We are literally like dumb & dumber when we have to do anything together,She never fails to make me laugh. The nurse brought us in both a cup of tea each and my sandwiches which I had ordered earlier in the day. I had a bit of trouble swallowing due to my sore throat but I was absolutely starving! We watched the end of Wimbledon which I had on the TV and mum left a little while after.

I settled down with my snacks as love island was just about to start, as soon as it finished I said goodnight to Matt and went to get my head down. At 10:30pm my night nurse Kelly came in to do my BP & temperature and offered me painkillers. I was actually still not feeling to bad at this point. She told me she would have to come in again around 2-3am so rather than wake me that if I woke up to buzz her.

I woke up around 3am and my ears were absolutely killing me. It actually knocked me for six! I didn’t expect it to be so so painful once the painkillers wore off. I buzzed Kelly straight away. She came in and did my observations and gave me some liquid morphine, she told me I could have it every hour. From 3am I was up every hour and it seemed the pain got more intense each time I woke. I tossed and turned back and forth in bed but no matter what position I got into every one was painful. I spoke to Matt briefly as the baby was wide awake, (obviously missing his mummy😂) totally out character for him as he usually sleeps straight through.

I tried my best to sleep but I can’t even describe the pain, the morphine just wasn’t cutting it. Granted it took the edge off but not enough to really help me sleep. 4/5 & 6am I called Kelly back and forth. I could see the sympathy on her face every time she came in. 6am she gave me co-codamol too which seemed to help. I wasn’t able to go back to sleep though. I spoke to Matt again and the baby was awake and he’d brought him into our bed trying to get him to sleep, as soon as we came off FaceTime he sent me a photo of him sleeping. (Clearly just needed to see his mum 😉).

Breakfast was brought in 7:30am I had a well needed coffee, special K & poached eggs on toast. I spoke to my mum and filled her in with last night, and spoke to Matt again. We speak a lot lol! My cat coco hasn’t been her usual self and projectile vomited in the living room early hours of Friday morning. Matt had woken up to more sick & the evidence of a bad tummy. She had her food this morning so we’re not overly worried we are going to keep an eye on her for now.

Sarah my day nurse came back in to say hello and brought me some liquid morphine again, it made me feel a bit queasy, probably because I’d just stuffed my face. She told me after I see my consultant I can go home 😊 I’m just laying in bed watching DIY SOS. I’m contemplating having a shower but I don’t want to risk him coming around to see me so I think I’ll have one when I get to my mums.

I’ll wrap this very long blog up with my overall experience.

Dr Karoo – has been an absolute dream. Such a wonderful man and I would highly recommend him to anyone for any surgery.

The nurses & staff at Spire Hospital have been incredible, my stay has been great there wasn’t anything they couldn’t do for me.

If I ever did have any other surgery in the future then I would not hesitate booking with Dr Karoo @ Spire Hospital Cardiff. So a massive Thankyou to everyone who has looked after me.

I will update with pictures next Friday when I have my bandages off and just give my reaction to my new ears and how the rest of my recovery went.

H x

KARMA after joking about this picture!!