As you can tell from the title this is about Charlie’s meltdowns, these don’t happen very often but when they do all hell brakes loose. It’s horrific to see him like it and it brings me to tears every single time.
It first started when he was around 3 months old. My auntie & cousin had popped over for a cuppa & to see him. He had just woken up from a nap, now I don’t know what triggered it. Whether it was because he wasn’t used to strange faces but he went into complete meltdown mode. Now when I say this, it isn’t your normal crying fit. Oh no this is another level of crying. I had no clue what to do! I couldn’t calm him down he was screaming at the top of his lungs. It actually sounded like someone was torturing him. He didn’t want to be pulled in close of anything it made him worse. My mum walked in and took him to try and I’ve never been more thankful for her walking in at that very moment.
I was so embarrassed he’d never done this before we couldn’t work out why and still don’t know now. He screamed blue murder for over half and hour, he was in such a state he couldn’t catch his breath and was hyperventilating. Finally after what seemed like forever I don’t know if it was out of pure exhaustion, he stopped at fell asleep in my mums arms.
The next time was when we were out shopping in Sainsburys, I’d gone in the disabled toilets with him In the pram. All of a sudden I heard him go and I knew it was going to be a normal cry. Again I couldn’t tell you what started him off whether it was the dimly lit toilet but he was off. I moved him into the baby changing area to see if he needed changing but I couldn’t even get to his nappy, I was shushing him and dancing round rocking him but nothing. I was loosing the will, quickly! I was trying not to get worked up myself but I just couldn’t calm him down, finally I just put him back in his pram and made my way back to the main area. As soon as we walked in he stopped, just like that. It was so weird! Next thing I know he’s cooing at me and smiling, it was like someone flipped a switch.
The third time was even more embarrassing, I’d gone for food for my friends birthday in TGI Fridays. I’d literally had my starter and off he went. My friends boyfriend offered to walk him round the car park but I couldn’t settle and concentrate on the conversation. He gave me the thumbs up to say he’d settled, great I thought! He brought him back in and within 5 minutes he was off again. I took him to the baby changing to do his nappy, and I couldn’t even get it off him. We got in such a tizz, I walked back to the table with Charlie half dressed. He screamed and screamed it felt like the whole restaurant was staring at me. I apologised to my friends as I made the decision to leave. After struggling to get him In the car within 5 minutes of us driving he was asleep & it was my turn for a meltdown. I felt like everyone was judging me, what must they have thought of me!
Our most recent was probably the worst one for me. I’d planned to go to a ladies only afternoon tea charity event with my mum, her friends and my family. Charlie had only slept 20 min as we arrived and I was worried how it would effect him. Everyone wanted to meet him and were all smitten as he got passed around friends and family for cuddles. I could see he was getting grizzly so put him back in his pram ready for a bottle, without warning it started. My mum looked at me, she knew what was coming. Oh no not today Charlie. I’d been looking forward to this all week, the weather was beautiful and I love afternoon tea. I went off to push him around the car park to see if he would drop off back to sleep, I’d only been there 20 minutes. As we got to the car back he went 0-100 the screaming started, the hyperventilating. I decided to sit him in the car with the white noise sound coming through the speakers – nothing was working.
My mum appeared looking sympathetic as I was flustered and trying to calm him down. She offered to take him and as soon as she picked him up he shrieked the loudest scream I’ve ever heard and she instantly passed him back. “They are bringing the food & tea out Hel I’ll save you some come in when you can” she said as she headed back inside. He was still going crazy I tried everything to calm him but nothing was working. I strapped him in the car and decided to have a drive to see if I could get him to sleep. Luckily it worked but 45 minutes had gone by and I’d missed everything! I decided rather than risk waking him back up I’d drive home instead. I called mum outside to say bye, she was so upset for me. As soon as I drove off I balled my eyes out, all the way home.
I called Matt and tried to speak through my sobs, I could tell he felt awful for me. He offered to leave work early so I could go back but there wasn’t any point I’d missed it all. My mum text me to say how bad she felt for me, and was upset to see me so sad. It was by far the most stressful day. It’s horrible when you don’t know how to make your baby feel better.
Charlie still has his meltdowns sometimes but for not as long and it happens when he’s over tired or if he’s in pain with teething. We’ve just had a meltdown which prompted me to write it. But he’s sleeping in my arms and it lasted around 15 minutes which is a record compared to his usual 45-1hour meltdowns he’s had before!
Mums if your reading this and can relate, hang in there! Your doing everything right, it’s bloody hard work. And you’ll feel like everyone around you is judging you and thinking what an awful mother you are. But your amazing! These things happen and they will keep on happening you just have to get through these little tough times! I absolutely hate hearing Charlie get the way he does but I know as soon as he gives in he will be fine and I can comfort him like now.